If Santa Claus promised "eternal life", would people cling to a belief in him as an adult?

Santa Clause didn't sacrifice himself on the cross for your salvation. However, no matter what I would or could say will ever change the mind of a hate filled, scornful heart of an Atheist. So please give all those who believe in God a break and stop your asinine, impertinent, childish, moronically, stupid hypothetical questions. If you don't believe, leave it at that and get on with your hopeless life. Once more, please don't contact me in any form and all you Atheists out there please grow up and ask intelligent questions not lame hopelessly stupid childish hypothetical nonsense. First explain to me how humans evolved from "some primordial ooze" which is "YOUR BIG LEAP OF FAITH".